


Boketto

by extravirginwriting



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Cheating, Other, Sad, Single Parents, vent fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-09
Updated: 2015-11-09
Packaged: 2018-04-30 18:41:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5175311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/extravirginwriting/pseuds/extravirginwriting
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Boketto:</p><p>Japanese – The act of gazing vacantly into the distance without thinking.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Boketto

**Author's Note:**

> probably more characters. im just feeling exhausted.

At many times, Amethyst was too proud to beg.

As a child, if Amethyst's parents said no to buying her something, she would save her money for months and months, rejecting chances to buy candies. It was simply in her nature. To be as independent as possible, rejecting any help or pity. 

Now was her time.

Standing on her ex-fiance's apartment doorstep, holding her sweet baby girl against her chest, trying to calm her cries. Sugilite had been crying since they'd been first threatened with eviction. At first, it had been out of hunger. Then, it had been because she was taken from her toys, into a cab, across town. Amethyst had tried to make her quiet since they first left, but it hadn't been working terribly well. 

The door swung open, and there stood a sixteen year old, sewage green hair falling into her face, looking tired and frustrated with the world, hood up. Her jeans were tattered, probably ready to disintegrate, Converse dirty, caked with mud and doodled on in sharpie. "Can I, like, help you." She grumbled, leaning against the doorframe.

If this was any other day of the week, Amethyst would lecture Alexandrite on her behavior. But, she was desperate, carrying a sobbing, screaming baby, in need of money. So she put on her "happy" face and just held tighter to Sugilite.

"Is your mom home?" Amethyst asked.

"She's at the store. Just missed her." Alexandrite picked at her chipping black nail polish, glaring with her one exposed eye. "So, yeah. That's, like. It."

"When's she going to be back?"

Alexandrite sucked her teeth, going to shut the door. Amethyst thrust her hand out, jostling Sugilite slightly, much to both of their distress. "No, no, I'm serious, I need to talk to her. It's an emergency, Alexandrite. Come on, you used to like me. Just let me in until she gets back."

Reluctantly, Alexandrite relinquished her control on the door, letting Amethyst come in. Steven and Sardonyx, Garnet's other two children, were lying on the couch, watching an episode of Commander Cookie Cat together. Sardonyx was half asleep, clutching her blanket tightly to her chest. The last time Amethyst had seen her, she was only five days old, clinging tightly to her finger as Garnet told her there was no saving their relationship. Steven was stretched out on the couch, his messy curls flopping into his hair, dangerously close to replicating Alexandrite's hair, though significantly curlier. Since she was about ten, Alexandrite had been straightening her hair. Amethyst had probably gotten her started with it. When she first started dating Garnet, she would straighten her hair for work. Once she got fired, she stopped. But not before teaching Alexandrite the practice.

Steven and Sardonyx didn't even notice. The green hair had seemed to impress Sugilite sufficiently. Alexandrite seemed to intend on keeping it that way. She corralled Amethyst into the dining room, hushing Sugilite with one of Sardonyx's toys, set on the counter to be kept away from her while she was in trouble. 

"You stay here. They don't need to know you're back." Alexandrite was firm, pointing to a chair. "Sit. Stay."

Grumpily, Amethyst took a seat, deciding not to argue with her. It was probably in her best interest, and if she treated Alexandrite with no malice, then she would probably be more inclined to tell her mother something nice. Although, knowing Alexandrite, it was always going to be unsure. She'd been a wild card for as long as Amethyst had known her. If the dinner choices were chicken or beef, Alexandrite wanted mac and cheese. If it was either swings or slide, Alexandrite wanted swimming. This inability to compromise and tendency to go "outside the lines" had gotten her thrown out of six schools, even a juvenile reform center hadn't wanted her, finding her too difficult to control. 

Once Alexandrite had left the room, Amethyst stared at Sugilite, who was now fast asleep, small stuffed bear still in hand. She leaned back, groaning, letting the little one sleep, after suffering one of the longest days in her three months of life since her birth.

* * *

Garnet came home with canvas bags filled to the brim with groceries. She enlisted Alexandrite and Steven to help her carry the bags in and unload groceries, Sardonyx taking her nap. They chatted about what had happened while Garnet was gone and the Commander Cookie Cat episodes they'd watched, though it was Steven doing most of the talking, Alexandrite adding her dark opinion every once in a while, while Steven corrected it, and Garnet asked her not to say that Commander Cookie Cat was impressed by intergalactic forces and then waterboarded. 

When the refrigerator was closed, Alexandrite broke the news to her mother, saying Amethyst was sitting in the dining room with her daughter. Steven had taken more action than Garnet. Judging by the sigh she heard, Amethyst guessed Garnet was getting a glass of wine before handling it. Steven burst into the dining room, grinning ear to ear. He seemed to miss Amethyst more than anyone else in the house. He was about to go in for a hug, before spotting the baby in Amethyst's arms, bundled in her hat, scarf, and vest still. Tip-toeing over, Steven pointed to the baby, looking into Amethyst's eyes for approval.

"You can hold her, Steven." She was proud of herself for still knowing the code they'd had for years.

Taking Sugilite in his arms, Steven was careful with her, knowing exactly how to hold a baby, since Garnet had taught him when Sardonyx was born. Seeing the look in Steven's eyes, mystified and completely head over heels, she knew this visit would at least have one good side to it. However, once Garnet walked in, holding a wine glass in one hand, the other hand on her hip, Amethyst realized that maybe it wouldn't be  _that_ great.

"Amethyst." Garnet whispered, noticing the sleeping baby almost instantly. Amethyst considered it her psychic ability.

"Garnet. Long time no see. Haven't seen you since you broke off our engagement, actually." That had escaped. Internally, Amethyst promised not to bring it up anymore, deciding it wasn't very fair to Steven to have them arguing all the time. He'd dealt with it enough during the breakup.

"That's enough."

"I'm being evicted. I either need money or a place to stay."

"Don't you have a job."

"Doesn't pay much. I've been pouring most of my savings into Sugilite."

"That's a dumb idea."

"No it's not. That's my daughter, I want to take care of her. And who are you to be criticizing my parenting skills? It isn't my daughter who keeps getting thrown out of schools."

Amethyst knew she had jumped over the line and was now insulting the line, beating it down. Garnet's face darkened immediately, and she took Steven's wrist, handing Sugilite back to Amethyst, and dragging her son gently as she could to her side. "You can leave now."

Being kicked out by her ex-fiance was not how Amethyst planned for this trip to go. She was envisioning more arguing, then a touching resolution in which Garnet and Amethyst made up, then fell back in love and raised their children together, and Sugilite never had to be embarrassed of her lack of two parents, like Amethyst had been as a child. It wasn't working very well though, the plan.

"G-Garnet... Come on, we used to be engaged. You have to have some sympathy for me, right...?" Amethyst ventured, clutching Sugilite tightly to her chest. 

"And there's a reason we're not anymore. Go home. What are you thinking taking such a tiny baby out in this weather?" Garnet snapped, sending Steven out of the room. She shut the dining room doors, getting closer to Amethyst. "I'm not giving you any false hope. I'm not letting you think for a second that you can just come in here and give  _my_ children false hope that you're back forever or that we're back on. I'm not letting that happen to any of us."

The first thing Amethyst thought was 'wow Garnet does have a point.' And the second thing she thought was 'what a bitch she has a point.' This sparked no mental debate for Amethyst, it instead enabled only one mode in her mind- fight. 

"You kicked me out at the shittiest time ever! I was unemployed, we couldn't pay for a wedding because I was barely getting by with my savings. I didn't need you to out of the blue break up with me and send me out the fuckin' door, Garnet!" She threw her free hand in the air, using the other to gently rock Sugilite. 

Garnet looked even angrier, but instead of replying, just took a sip of her wine. It was clear she'd realized that maybe Amethyst had a point as well, and didn't have time to think of a quick witted reply. After a few more sips, she sat down on another chair, rubbing her temples. 

"I don't know how this is going to end. It's purely experimental. I'll let you sleep on my couch for two days. I'm not giving you any money, you make yourself useful around the house... I'm only doing this because I feel bad for Sugilite. I don't feel any pity for you. You ruined your own relationship." Garnet stood up, walking out of the room to get Sardonyx from her nap.

* * *

Sardoynx, Steven, and Garnet went to the park while Amethyst got settled in. Sugilite was sleeping in Sardonyx's old crib, Amethyst in a fort on the couch. Alexandrite was hiding in her room, her music spilling out into the living room. She was just playing some emo pop punk nonsense Amethyst had first heard in 2004. Sometimes, the music Alexandrite listened to had made Amethyst wonder if she was actually okay. But Amethyst hadn't been in her life for a little over three years now. She didn't know a single thing about this girl or her feelings. It almost made her feel bad, rejecting the very person she'd raised for so long, nurtured and shaped, because she was bitter over a breakup.

In the back of her mind, Amethyst wondered if Garnet would've even let them speak, if she would've let Amethyst remain a part of her little girl's life. Her chest burned just thinking about it, so Amethyst closed her eyes and fell asleep.

When she woke up, it was dark outside. Sugilite was sleeping under the window, peacefully sucking her thumb. The TV was playing an episode of Cookie Cat: Commander in Chief, the shameful spin off Commander Cookie Cat spin off from 2011. How it was still running amazed Amethyst. 

Sitting up, Amethyst looked around, taking in her surroundings. Garnet's laptop was open on the kitchen counter, a sippy cup and half a graham cracker next to it. The cat, Lion, lay next to it, defending the machine from harm. His bushy tail swung back and forth against the screen, though he was entirely asleep, just in his own kitten dream land. She'd always loved Lion, who she had considered their fourth child, very lovingly. He was an engagement present from Garnet's parents. They loved her so much... Amethyst couldn't stomach the thought of them, their support for their relationship. Even after Garnet had made it clear to them the relationship was over, when they found out Amethyst was pregnant, and all on her own, they dropped by and made her dinner. It hurt her most to just think about. 

Now, the rush of memories was coming back. Teaching Steven to cook at the counter, scolding Alexandrite for watching too much TV, patching Steven up when he'd ran right into the coffee table. Even looking at her own daughter, lying in the crib that once held Sardonyx, a baby when the whole thing ended, it filled her heart with some new brand of sadness, and not the kind Amethyst had been addicted to for so long.

It was best for her to get out of the apartment a bit, stretch her legs, get fresh air. Quickly, Amethyst rose to her feet and walked out into the hall, encountering a drunk couple in some sort of hate makeout. They would lock lips, then the smaller of the two would slap the larger one, and the larger one would shove her against the opposite wall, and they'd begin to kiss again. It made Amethyst wonder if that's what her relationship with Garnet looked like. She continued to hurry down the hall, into the elevator, slamming the lobby button. On the fifth floor, the elevator stopped to let on a passenger. 

A small woman, probably a year or two younger than Amethyst, holding her dog's leash, stood in the corner, bitterly checking her Facebook. This was only something Amethyst knew by staring at the reflection in her glasses. When the woman noticed, she looked up, giving Amethyst a death glare with her furious hazel eyes. She dissolved her anger, scratching her head and leaning against the wall, allowing her dog to bark at Amethyst. 

The dog was  _hideous_. It's fur was mangy, matted, shaved into a half assed lion cut that had failed on growing out a while ago. It was missing an eye and a leg, simply hobbling around on it's remaining three legs pathetically. It had only learned to pick up one of it's ears, the other uselessly folded over. _  
_

The elevator dinged, and the doors opened into the lobby. Faithfully, the enormous clock on the wall, which had been there since Garnet had first lived in the building, back in the 90s, told the time as 11:30pm, not unreasonable for the darkness outside and abandonment of Garnet's apartment. The woman stepped out of the elevator and began to walk briskly out the door, not even bothering to thank the doorman who held the door open for her. 

Amethyst made a note to avoid that specific neighbor and made her way outside, thanking whatever higher power for a clear night and fresh, clean air. As clean as it could get for New York, anyways.


End file.
